Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
