with your own penis?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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