he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
