apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
