I want to make a zoo with you.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
