You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
