she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
