a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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