its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Redeem this text for a blowjob
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
