whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My liver just broke up with me...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
