Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
