Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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