I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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