Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
