we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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