I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
