she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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