Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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