so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
