I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
