I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize