it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
