i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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