so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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