it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
