How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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