i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
