we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
