I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize