Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
