Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I cannot find my penis.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
