i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
FUCK WHALES
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
