My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
