I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
