Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
