I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
