glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
