she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
