I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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