seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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