FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
