At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
