i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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