HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
