did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
