I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
