how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
foreskin is a definite game changer
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
