I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize