And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
