so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
