At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
