His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
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