I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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