dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
