P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do vagina's smell?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
