Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
