lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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