So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
