Banned from zoo.
Again?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
