If i come over, it means nothing
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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