theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize