there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
