Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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