Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
