i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
