Do vagina's smell?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
