I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
