All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
