My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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