I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize