Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
