and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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