The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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