I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize