This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
