Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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