okay pat passed out under dana's car
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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