Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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