It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
