i jhust puked up my retainher.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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