I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
