i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
