Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
