No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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