I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
